Showing posts with label Aden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aden. Show all posts

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Aden

Kenneth Aden Freeman, you are my little sweet heart. You are currently 4 (soon to be 5). Your little smile warms my heart. When you were born I was sure I knew you in the pre-existance. You were named after your dad, and of course, myself. I see a little of both of us in you. You were 9 pounds even when you were born and such a hungry little guy. You ate, and ate, and ate. A nurse told me I didn't need to feed you so much. You started crying and I believe it was 1:00 in the morning, but I had just fed you at 11:00. I thought, "I'm supposed to wait. He shouldn't eat so often." I delayed for a good 30 minutes trying to comfort you, but in the end I gave you a bottle despite what the nurse claimed and you were totally content. You were just hungry. You loved attention as a baby, and still as a 4 year-old you haven't changed much! You constantly wanted held, and as I mentioned before, you also loved to eat.

You were a very scary little toddler. I felt it was my duty to keep you from seriously injuring or killing yourself. I'm not joking. I'm sure you will hear the septic tank story for years to come, but I'll share it on here for you to have always. I'm sure you'll appreciate it ;)

It was a week before Uncle Terrel and Aunt Cindy's wedding reception to be held at Nanny's house. We were desperately trying to get things in order so that everything would be gorgeous. I was on the phone with dad inside Nan's house because Devri was having a "concert" outside and was "too embarrassed" for me to watch. Nan has a septic tank at her house which is what people have when their house is not connected to a city sewer system. It's basically a huge tank under ground containing the sewage for the home.

Well, the existing lid was made of concrete and had crumbled away and in it's place was a thin square board. We had told you several times to stay away from that board. During Devri's "concert" she stops and screams, "ADEN FELL IN THE HOLE!!!" I dropped the phone and ran outside. I didn't want to believe you were in there I was screaming, "ADEN!!! ADEN!!!" I ran toward the hole and saw it exposed with the board lying on the grass beside it. I looked into the dark hole and all I could see was the faint shimmer of liquid rippling. I knew you were in fact down there.

What happened next was an experience I'll never forget (on many levels;)) I felt angels, and our Heavenly Father whisper to me to get you. I threw my arms up in the air and it felt as if someone pushed me on the back and I leaped forward, feet first into the hole to find you. I didn't know how deep the muck would be, I just wanted to save you. My feet hit the bottom and the muck was up to my chest. I frantically searched for you. I grabbed you and looked you in the eyes to make sure you were okay. You looked at me frightened, and I shouted to Nan, "He's okay, I've got him." I passed you up the 2 ft wide corrugated pipe to your Nan. I tried to get out as well. I jumped and Nan caught my hands, but she didn't have strength and I didn't have any leverage to get out. The tube was too small for me to bend my knees to shimmy up. As I was crawling out I met my nemesis all over that pipe. Nestled in each inverted corrugation there were spiders. When I saw those I freaked out, screaming, "GET ME OUT OF HERE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" That was really stupid, because all it did was make all of you freak out too. Scared you, Dev, and Nan to death. I calmed down and Nan called my Aunt Roma and Uncle Gary to come help. They arrived shortly and pulled me right out. We both hosed off and went inside to take showers.

That was an experience I'll never forget. And that is what I mean by finding it my duty to keep you from killing yourself. My goodness. You were a dangerous toddler.

You have finally outgrown that. It couldn't have come quicker. I do find you growing at such an alarming rate that it really makes me sad. You get frustrated really easily over silly things, you talk and talk and talk, and are definitely the social butterfly in the family.

I don't know if those things will change in time, but Aden, I find you can channel those things into something really positive. You will be an amazing leader with those attributes. Try to have patience with others, but if you get frustrated with something, don't ramble on just think of a way to fix it. You make people feel comfortable. People are drawn to you. You will be an amazing missionary, I can tell. I love you so much. I would jump in a million "holes" to save your life. You mean everything to me. When you grow older, remember that. Have patience with your mom as a teenager and young adult. I didn't. It's something I'll regret for the rest of my life. Cling to your family. You love friends already, but friends come and go. They used to be everything to me, but I can count on one hand the friendships that will last a lifetime. My best friends now are your dad and my mom. They are all the friends I even need.

You are firey, full of energy, and definitely full of love. When I ask you to do something for me you always say, in the cutest, kindest voice, "Suuure!" So sweet.



Lastly, you are extremely talented athletically. Right now you are playing soccer and are so naturally talented it is amazing to watch. You have rallied your team together and are an excellent team player. You blow almost every team away, and you're only 4. It will be interesting to see what the future has in store for you. Just know, that I believe in you. Always.

Heavenly Father has blessed you with many strengths and you can turn your weaknesses into strengths simply by redirecting your frustration into solving a problem. Try not to bully and pester, but build people up. You can do amazing things, young man, I can feel it in you. I love you.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Overcoming Trials Through Faith


Today in church we had a lesson that really inspired me. It so happens that we have possibly the best sunday school teachers in the whole of the church. Each Sunday is an inspirational lesson, I kid you not. I received a little insight today, however, which I feel inspired to share. 

The lesson was not closely related to the topic, but someone made a comment to the effect of, "the Lord has already felt our trials so that he may have empathy for us and we never need feel that we are alone." Well, this simple truth brought about another simple truth to my mind...

The Lord has felt every ounce of our pain whether it be mentally, physically, or spiritually. He also overcame each of our trials perfectly. He knows how to overcome them and if we let go of our limited mortal understanding and lean on Him, having faith in His all-encompassing Atonement, He will lead us perfectly through any trial we may face.

I've already written about some skewed ways of thinking I have faced due to previously mentioned trials. Shortly after Ken and I were married all those thwarted perceptions were closing in on me at an alarming rate. I was acting as if I were frantically grasping for someone to pull me out of my surrounding mental chaos. I knew something was wrong with my thought process, due to the insights of various people (not a kind thing to do, mind you), I just didn't know what or how to fix myself. The only thing I could think to do was to pray.

I got on my knees and literally, begged the Lord to save me. I told Him I knew there was something wrong with me, but I didn't know what to do. 

I cannot convey to you what exactly took place after that. The only thing I know is that an absolute miracle occurred in my life. Slowly the Lord revealed to me the reasons for my thought processes- the occurrences that had happened to manipulate my mind. I was able to slowly process each situation and move beyond them (i.e. my dad and Vietnam, abusive situations in dating relationships, etc.) I feel I need to emphasize that I did nor do not intend to place blame, but just wanted to understand myself and the incorrect perceptions I was faced with. 

I know without a shadow of a doubt that our loving Heavenly Father heard my prayer. I know that Christ has dealt with my specific problems. I know that He knew how to overcome them though I did not. I know that because I exhibited faith in Him, He showed me through His perfect knowledge how to heal my mind.  I know the Lord can and will heal all wounds according to our faith and His will. I cannot convey to you the miracle that took place that night. His Atonement is so miraculous that He literally can change the very makeup of our minds. All the pain, suffering, abuse, loss, etc., we feel in this life cannot stand against the Lord's power. He can lift us out of any black abyss that we may face. He can fill any void that we insatiably try to fill. He did that for me. I know I am the woman I am today because of the Lord's hand in my life. He has guided me to tremendous growth and I can add this to the life long list of things I am both indebted to and ever grateful for. This hymn (#124) helped me through some of the most difficult times in my life.

"Be Still, My Soul"


1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897



I also know that if you ever feel lost; if you ever feel alone, afraid, or trodden down He will never leave you comfortless. He will come to you. He stands at the door and knocks. It is up to you to open the door. Let His love and light consume you.