My Love; My Kenny

To all of you I am sharing some of my weaknesses with you here to help you to realize that a) if you have this same weakness you are not alone, and b) don't take people the Lord places in your life for granted.

I had a lot of baggage going into finding a person to marry. I wanted to be loved so badly that I often forced it instead of letting it happen naturally. For example, I was needy. Constantly calling, wanting attention, and insanely pushing to see if he was there for real. I would set myself up for failure in a relationship because I was scared to death of getting hurt by men. I would deem the relationship a failure before it even began, not with every relationship....mostly just this one. By the time this relationship came around I had been through so many awful relationships which only ended in heartbreak...okay maybe a handful, but it was enough to change the person I was. I was a wreck. Because I did that, I really missed out on enjoying the journey. I took it all for granted. I had an expectation of how it was supposed to be and I was constantly trying to force it to be that instead of stepping back and taking a breath and letting it happen. I missed out on that blessing. I missed the allowance of the spirit to touch my heart which would enable me to have a deeper love for this man. I took him for granted for years. Thinking it all should've happened the way I had envisioned it. But in all reality I'm the one who missed out. What a blessing it would've been to have a calm heart and to have been able to enjoy the journey we were taking together.

So here we go. Here is the story of how I met my sweet heart.

Heavenly Father had promised me something in a blessing one summer in my mother's home in Monticello, Utah. He told me He was preparing someone for me. Of course my heart was filled with excitement. I looked at every boy wondering if he was the "one" being prepared for me!

What I didn't know was at that exact time an elder was diligently serving his mission in Ecuador. Walking door to door sharing the gospel and growing into a man who would change my life forever.

I had moved back to Salt Lake at the end of that summer to start my fall semester. I lived in a two bedroom apartment and was desperately looking for a roommate to split my rent in half. My price range was just high enough that most girls didn't come looking, but one was very, very interested. She was 28 years old and extremely odd. She was an avid runner. She made sure she went literally every day of the week. Well, as it so happened she got hit by a car while running. I think she ran too close to the line, personally, but what do I know? Two weeks later, she got hit by another car while running! Well, she drew up a sign up sheet and had it passed around elder's quorum for men to go running with her to "protect" her.

The paper hit the hands of a newly returned missionary and he, being in love with running and composed of a sweet spirit, signed the sheet. He wasn't the only one, and for some reason I was asked to call every man on that list to ask if they would go running with my roommate on any given day of the week. Not only did I call every man I also escorted them through the halls of the apartment complex into our apartment for my roommate. In all reality I only remember one man. I remember opening the door to the complex to find that same returned missionary who spoke in sacrament meeting on my birthday sunday. I remember him because we smiled at each other a couple of times through his talk. He was very stern looking. Very serious minded. Would rarely smile. Oh but when he smiled! My heart melted instantly. Something about this young man seemed so familiar to me, almost as if I'd met him before.

I decided I needed to go running this time too! I didn't want to seem silly, but there was something magnetic about this man. I was very interested in him.

After that I still set up the running days, but when it came to his we texted a couple of times back and forth. The run turned into a date. I remember we made rice crispy treats that date and watched a movie or something of that nature. We never spent another day separated after that first date.

I put him through a lot of grief, but he is the only man who has ever stayed true and by my side in my life. He was my stripling warrior. He has always been silently confident, humbly strong, and always constant and steady. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. He loved me when I didn't love myself. He was the rock on which I was able to dig through the mess and build who I really am. It is because of him I am the person I am today. Kenny Pie, you saved me. I will never be able to thank you enough for what you have given me.

We were engaged sometime in May, I believe. He took me to the spot the pioneers had found to pick the location of the temple and told me he chose this day for us to start building something beautiful.

We were married November 3, 2005. I was 21 and he was 23. Devri was sealed to us and this was the start of the rest of our lives. Now, a little over 5 years later, I love him more than ever. He is my ultimate comfort. I could be anywhere in the world and as long as I was with him I would feel home. I love you sweetie.