Let's touch on the kids arguing. I'm to the point that if I hear someone yell or demean or insult one another one more time I may turn into the Queen of Hearts over here. Maybe I already have. Kruize did tell his class mates at church this last Sunday he wanted to "break their necks." That was totally humiliating and made me feel that I'm failing my kids.
I'm definitely going through a phase of wanting to feel respected, noticed, loved, and with my 30th birthday looming, 10 years younger. Let's face it, parenting can feel heartbreaking at times. We've had some other trials that have been scary, saddening, confusing, and disappointing. I have found myself very angry. This morning I opened up Facebook and watched a video about feeling alone someone had posted, a blurb about the importance of women and motherhood, I've been having thoughts of my Patriarchal Blessing come to mind so I pulled it out of my journal this morning and came across something written by my uncle. I've had a feeling to share it. The attitude of my grandpa in this story brought me to tears and the parallel my uncle made is absolutely amazing.
"My good father operated a dry cleaners all of my young life. Occasionally, we would miss a “stain maker” in the pockets of clothing before they were washed in the solvent. A ballpoint pen could be devastating. A tube of red lipstick, ironically, was the kiss of death. The stains left by lipstick were impossible to remove from most fabrics and we would scrub with chemicals all night to try and save the clothing. Most of the time dad would have to reimburse our customers the purchase price of their clothes if lipstick was involved. My dad could ill afford such a disaster and employed the youngest children to scour all the pockets and assure him that no lipstick snuck into a batch. (Our pay was a nickel candy bar on Saturday afternoon.)
"Dad was the sweetest man who ever lived. It is one of my regrets that none of my dear children ever knew him here on earth. One evening, even after the children’s promises to the contrary, red lipstick made it into a batch of expensive suits. Dad stood to lose a fortune but he remained calm and spiritual. I remember being so impressed with his composure, but even more impressed with the lesson he taught me. “LeGrand, come over here,” Dad said, “Let me show you something.”
“Sort the suits into two piles, those made of wool and those made of anything else,” he instructed.
“Those made of other fabrics love their stains and refuse to give them up. They are a total loss and we will have to reimburse their owners. But luckily there are several suits made of wool here. Wool is my favorite material. It gives up its stains easily and I can always make it look brand new.”
It was true. After a few hours of elbow grease we had all of the wool suits looking new.
Dear Children, cotton clings to stains tenaciously. You can’t get many hard stains out of cotton. Let us be wool, your grandfather’s favorite fabric. Let us give up our sins willingly and easily. It is the price of knowing God and receiving Eternal Life. "
I might add: let us never be as cotton holding on to our stains of anger and pride ultimately making the lives of those around us dull. Let us be as wool in our attitudes, willing to give up
our pride and brighten the lives of those around us.
My little Kruize is named "Kruize Black Freeman" Black coming from this side of my family. Let's hope my Grandpa Black can help me make some of this stick, because at this point, I need the help of heaven!
Anyway I felt I needed to share this for some reason. I have a vast array of things going on right now that have honestly gotten me a little down. This morning I made a conscious decision to choose the Lord anyway and do you think it is pure coincidence that I found all these things that answered/comforted every aspect of my frustrations? That I came across a story of my grandpas attitude over stains when, just yesterday, my baby created masterpieces on my sofas? Could it be pure coincidence? I don't believe it for a second. My uncle also has a saying, "The Lord knows us intimately and loves us infinitely." I know this to be true. I have seen His hand in the details of my life over and over again. I am sure if you look closely enough at the "coincidences" in your life you'll start to realize it's really the hand of a loving Heavenly Father blessing your life daily whether you realize it or not.
