Jimmy Joe Pearson
July 20, 1942 - June 26, 2012
Almost four months later and I'm still struggling with the reality of it. I didn't talk to Dad a lot over the phone, and I didn't visit Monticello often either, so in many ways I can live in denial about him actually passing away. That is, until I want to call, and realize there will be no answer from his deep, gruff voice, or when I look through my phone contacts to send a picture of my new baby and see his number there, or when I am having a terrible day and all I want to hear is his voice saying, "Keep your chin up, Honey." like he always did, or when I think back to his viewing and walking into the room and seeing him there and watching his chest ever so closely, but it doesn't rise or fall it just stays stationary, and it all cascades on me that this is real. I sit here through tears because even as I write this now, I am having to deal with those same feelings. He cannot be gone, right? Not my daddy.
Mom called me one morning in tears. I wondered what was wrong and she said the words that seemed to shake the ground beneath me, "Ade? Your father has passed away." My response? "Are you serious? What happened?" Well, we never really could piece together what happened. We have some ideas, but they don't preform autopsies in Monticello, so really it's a guess. And honestly, in the end it really doesn't make a difference how he left, it doesn't fill the void, doesn't bring him back.
I rushed down to Monticello just as quickly as I could. On the way there I just thanked my Heavenly Father for letting me have Dad in my life. I am grateful the Lord healed my heart when I was younger. I had no anger towards Dad, no regrets of a hate filled heart. I had long forgiven him and was able to separate his actions from his spirit, and all that was left was love.
I remember that I called Dad on Father's Day just two weeks before he passed. At the end of the call he started crying telling me how much he loved me. That memory means so much to me. I suspect from this and other accounts, he had an idea he was passing, possibly for months.
I can't think of much else to say. Perhaps I'll add to this as time goes on. For now I'll end by sharing the talk I gave at his funeral.
"I didn't plan this out very well, putting myself last! (I made up the program and was the last speaker)
"I interviewed each grandchild and asked them of their favorite memories. This is what they said in their own words."
Aden: "Fishing, talking on the phone, riding on his tractor. When he gived us hugs."
Kruize: "I love him and want to play tennis with him. I like to play checkers with him."
"I don't know when they actually ever played checkers!"
Devri: "Going fishing, watching cartoons, helping him water the garden and his cows."
Colton: "When we were at the greenhouse I went into the coral and almost got rammed by a bull, but instead I scared the bull away. It reminds me of how I used to scare Papa and Papa would jump which ended up scaring me!"
"Colton, we have all been there!"
Isaac: "When we went fishing and he was baiting our hooks instead of his own. I asked him why he wasn't fising. He told me he wanted to get ours out. He was a very generous man. Then helped me reel in my fish and we got to ride in the back of the truck that day. We cooked the fish we caught and it was really good."
Chade: "Feeding a baby cow named, Rico, together."
Trevor: "Building fence together. We would notice Grandpa would disappear and we'd find him asleep under a tree with a cigarette in his hand. I loved that."
Last week Terrel and his wife, Cindy had a new baby girl, Kyah. We hope Dad is getting a good look at his sweet new granddaughter.
"Papa wrote a poem and it seems that he wrote this especially for his grandkids."
ONE AND ONLY YOU
Every single blade of grass
And every flake of snow
Is just a wee bit different
No two alike you know.
From something small, like grains of sand
To that gigantic star,
All were made with this in mind:
To be just what they are.
How foolish then, to imitate,
How useless to pretend
Since each of us comes from a mind
Whose thoughts will never end.
There’ll only be just one of me
To show what I can do,
And you should feel quite proud
There’s only one of you.
By Jim Pearson
"And Papa, we want you to know there is only ONE of you. We are so grateful we had the privilege of having you in our lives. We will love you forever and ever and miss you terribly until we meet again."
I know families can be together forever and I am so grateful to the Savior for making that possible by giving his life that we may return to Heavenly Father again. I am so grateful for the wonderful Plan of Happiness Heavenly Father instituted for us. What a blessing life is. What a blessing the Lord answered my prayer and I was able to forgive my dad. I am excited to meet him again someday and have felt his presence from time to time since he has passed. How blessed I feel to know of these simple truths. What healing they bring to an aching heart! Even still the Lord blesses me.
